Learning to please yourself

The spiritual path is the path that I chose last, but it has been the best one. Let me explain.

I started out life as a do-gooder little girl, who wanted nothing more than to make her parents happy. I was always wanting to earn their praise and basked in the love they showered on me.

Then I went to school and learned how to earn the approval of my teachers. I was a good student, who was attentive and rule following and who always did what was expected of her.

Then I got out into the working world and became a model employee. I did whatever I was told to do and rarely questioned what I wanted to do. It was a learned habit by this time. And it took me far in my career. So far that I eventually hit the end of the line of promotions and asked myself, Is this all there is to life? Work and more work for others?

Not knowing who to turn to to sort out what I was meant to do with my life, I turned to spirituality. Surely there I would find the answers as to what I as supposed to do, I thought. Surely there I could find the rules, the laws, and the playbook to follow as to how to be a good person, I surmised. Surely there was something in spirituality that would tell me how to live, I assumed.

What I found was a morass of ideas, a complexity of contradictory rules, and a whole bunch of people with different ideas of how to love. That was one rule I was sure of. Love. That one I had memorized and had felt the power of it so many times that I was sure I was onto something. I just didn’t know that the rule I was seeking was this: love yourself first.

That may comes as a surprise to those of you who espouse a view that says spiritual work is about others. That may come as a new idea if you think your lot in life is to suffer so that others are saved. That may come as a new rallying cry if you stay with me long enough. Because, folks, you can’t love anyone until you love yourself. It’s just not possible.

You can tend to others. You can do for others. And you can assume that others can’t do for themselves. But you can’t fully love another until you can find some love for yourself. Not just superficial love. Not just pat yourself on the back love. Not just be nice to yourself love. Full on unconditional love.

That sort of love is what got me through my personal transformation. That sort of love is what propelled me into a second career. That sort of love is powering me even as I write this, as that is the love of source.

When you can find your way to love yourself, you become a powerful attractor of all that is in your heart. When you embrace yourself as you are and thrive, you become a powerful role model for others. When you give up your mind wants and surrender to what is in your heart, you begin to heal. You begin to see life as a perfect expression of everything you need, every moment of every day.

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