THE PATH YOU WANT TO TAKE

When life presents you with options, my preferred means of progressing is to ask myself, what is the best course of action for me? Which path benefits me? Which option will lead to greater joy for me?

I ask these questions not because I am selfish. I ask these questions because the only answers I can truly know are those that pertain to me.

When I suppose what another needs, I am always bringing my own needs to the equation. When I suppose that another is incapable of caring for herself, I am only projecting my own fears onto another. And when I decide that someone else needs to change, I am only showing myself that I could change and improve my life.

Nothing that I suppose for another is anything but a reflection of my of own thinking.

Nothing that I suppose for another is anything but a reflection of my of own thinking.

Once you realize this truth — we all project our thinking onto others — you are better able to discern where you are projecting a fear and where you have a true desire to help. The difference between the two is easy. One feels good. The other doesn’t.

Cultivating a desire to help others is easy. Set an intent to be helpful and then see what comes to you throughout the day. Set an intent to be helpful to a specific person and watch as your estimation of them grows. Set an intent to help yourself through your day, and watch as you accomplish all your goals for the day.

I use intentions to help me every day. Even if I intend only that I have a great day, I use some form of intention to set me up for success. And when I want to go even further in my day, I ask myself good questions.

Here are a few you could use:

• What actions will bring me, and those I love, closer together?
• Where can I make the most progress today, toward my goals?
• What is coming into my life that I can prepare for?
• What’s the best path forward for me today?

Asking yourself good questions is a skill that I encourage you to learn. It’s easy once you realize that most of us are already asking questions, in an unaware sort of way. Here is what unhelpful questions sound like.

• What’s wrong with her? or me?
• How bad is this going to get?
• Will this ever end? (said with negative expectation)
• Who did this? (with intent to blame)

We are all good at asking questions, but could all work on asking better questions. Here are some of my favorite questions:

• What if we all succeeded? What would that look like?
• Which path would bring me the most joy?
• How can we solve this problem? (with a positive expectation for many solutions)
• Who else could we include?
• What would I prefer here? (when forced into a choice of lessers)
• What do I want?

When you ask these questions, know that the answers you receive are for you and you alone. They will necessarily reflect your wants, your fears, and your beliefs. So get into a habit, now, of asking questions that pertain to you. Of asking questions that lead to action by you. Of asking questions that help you excavate the true you, who resides under all the limited thinking you might carry for others.