KEEPING UP APPEARANCES

Many of us have a hard time letting go of old ideas because we think that we are expected to hold onto them. Like out-of-date clothing that no longer fits, limiting beliefs and mistaken ideas should be tossed out without a second glance. Yet if you think that everyone else still holds that limiting belief, you might be reluctant to lose it. My best advice? Get rid of it totally in private where you tell no one what you are doing.

Like out-of-date clothing that no longer fits, limiting beliefs and mistaken ideas should be tossed out without a second glance.

Ideas that limit us, or make us feel worthless, are prime for picking, and tossing out. If you can do this one your own, I recommend it, as many of us are in social groups that are sustaining the old, limiting idea. They don’t do it to hurt us; they do it because they don’t know any better. But you do, so you can do more to toss out old ideas.

One idea that I released was this: I must have all the answers before I start putting my writing, and my ideas, out for public consumption. This one idea blocked me for a long time from even mentioning my writing to people. It was so ingrained that I didn’t even see it as a limitation. I actually thought I was being prudent, careful, and smart by waiting until I felt sure of everything I was going to write about before I started sharing my work. Yes, you can all see how limiting this belief was. But I didn’t see it that way. I thought my carefulness was an asset, not a liability.

If you are in a social circle that values risk avoidance, then you might need to keep some of your new ideas about who you truly are a secret. Not because your new ideas are wrong, or bad, but because when you are nurturing a new idea is not the time to ask other people — who are still ruminating on the old ideas — what they think about your new, expansive ideas about yourself.

Many of us offer advice that we think sounds in love, but it often rings of fear. I am no exception. We tell people to watch out, be careful, or be good, when we could be telling them useful things like go get ‘em, you got this, and take a chance. I used to think, in fact, that my highest use in life was to warn people about what could go wrong. Once I tossed that mistaken belief, I found that it’s far more fun to tell people about what could go right.

If we do this new thing, we might be wildly successful!

If we stepped out and took a risk, we might see outsized returns!

If we all kept a positive attitude, this might actually work!

Can you imagine what would happen if you said that to your peers? If you are like me, then you might have a little fear that everyone would think you are a little too positive for their taste. The better route? Keep these new expansive ideas to yourself.

When you begin to explore your spiritual side, my best advice is that you keep company with your own spirit, who has your best interest at heart. Other people’s ideas, and beliefs, are simply not relevant to your journey. So don’t be surprised, as you begin the work of clearing out old and limiting beliefs, that you feel the urge to avoid certain people or to spend time alone. All of these are sure signs that you are listening to your own inner wisdom, and figuring out what works for you.

If you are someone who enjoys talking out your new others with others, have at it. But if you feel like your social groups might not agree, don’t be ashamed at doing this work alone until you shore up some new ideas.